President Obama, Stay The Hell Out Of Libya

Mr. President, there are too many white boys on your staff and in the news media and in the cartoon character gallery (this means you, Newt Gingrich), white boys that have never served a day in their god damned lives in any branch of this country’s military who have a got a tremendous hard-on these days for simply whipping out the artillery and going to town on some Libyan ass.

Contrary to popular belief, blue balls have never killed anybody. But can I guarantee you, Mr. President, that if you start sending our troops to Libya, less of them will come back alive than you sent there. Men with loaded guns in foreign countries, even when they are on humanitarian missions, can turn small battles into huge regional conflicts overnight. And in case the geniuses on your staff forgot, WE DON”T HAVE ENOUGH SOLDIERS LEFT TO FIGHT ANY MORE WARS RIGHT NOW than we are already in.

One private plane leaving the country with Gaddafi on it is all it takes to end this.

I’ve actually kind of gotten to like your posturing on the world stage, Mr. President. It is a lot cheaper for you to make pronouncements to the world than to tell the Joint Chiefs of Staff to gas up the tanks and the C-130’s. And in case you have forgotten what happens when the people in a country aren’t quite ready to push out their dictator, tell the boys at the Pentagon to send some highlight reels from their triumph in Iraq over so you can watch them in the White House movie theater. Meanwhile, even as the freedom fighters in Libya call for help, they have put a whole lot of pressure on Gaddafi to leave the country with the secret CIA troops we've given them all by themselves.

Another 30 days of civil war is about all Gaddafi can stand. It doesn't look good on the nightly news, but the citizenry of Libya who want to be free of their dictator have done a helluva job with the secret CIA troops we've given them all by themselves. The financial starvation diet you and your European allies have put him on is working, but it will take a little more time for him and his family to see the light.

What’s more dangerous to you right now than Gaddafi are these wannabe war mongers who are itching to let the world know that America can still blow shit up when it feels like it. Your “less is more” doctrine of letting events unfold according to their own timetable is driving the group of Type A control freaks you are surrounded with absolutely batshit crazy. They are all longing for the day when they can go out for some drinks after work with their buddies and brag about how many of the enemy our military killed today.

I mean, if the U.S. was really all that committed to being the humanitarian police, half of our troops would have already been scattered all over the African continent anyway, with a big ass military presence in Darfur and Somalia and Sudan.
If the oil flowing out of Libyan wells is important to America, just say so, and tell the people of Libya that their revolution will benefit as a result. But please, please, Mr. President, let’s leave all this he-man posturing that nitwits like Newt Gingrich want you to engage in with a “no-fly zone” alone, and keep your own counsel a little bit longer.

You have proven over the last two months that a little diplomacy and lot of lip service can go a long way in the Middle East.